My Grandmother always said "Kiss me Goodnight Rich" - this was her way of telling Grandpa, she wanted to resolve the conflict.
In a healthy relationship, conflict is bound to arise from time to time, because two people cannot be expected to agree and work cohesively all the time.
If dealt with properly, conflict can provide an opportunity to strengthen the relationship, but when mismanaged, conflict can deteriorate a relationship and make it weaker.
It’s important to understand and learn the skills associated with conflict resolution, in order to manage it properly and come out on the other end with a stronger bond than before.
Here’s how you can effectively resolve conflict in your relationships:
Understand the Cause
Conflicts are based on disagreements concerning values, ideas, principles, and opinions. At the root of every conflict there is a difference of needs. Both parties want their needs to satisfied, whether their need is validation, safety, intimacy, support, or respect. When you understand this, you can see that the needs of both involved parties must be met in order to maintain a strong long-term relationship. This will allow you to look at the situation a second time, this time in an environment of compassion, love, and mutual support. This is how a compromise is reached and a conflict is resolved.
Recognize Your Own Fear
If you are terrified and threatened by just the thought of a conflict and try to avoid it all costs, you may be damaging your relationship by doing so. The truth is, previous conflicts from other relationships that ended badly may be governing your fear of future conflicts, and so, you go into it thinking that it will be awful and will end terribly. This makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you decide in your mind that it will play out negatively, you will do nothing to steer it in a positive direction because you are certain that the negative vibes have a right to be there. When conflict seems more threatening to you than it actually is, it leads to mismanagement. This feeds your fear, and it allows you to see conflict as humiliating, demoralizing, and more terrifying than it was before. You need to go into thinking that it will okay, and you must train yourself to let go of your fear.
Control Emotion and Stress
Even something trivial can trigger an emotional response which makes the conflict larger than it was. Your reactions play a very important part in how that conflict is resolved. Often, in the midst of a heated argument, people say hurtful things and prey on each other’s weaknesses just to prove a point. This does nothing but exacerbate the situation, and leads to longer conflict time. Avoiding hurtful and disrespectful arguments almost always leads to faster resolution. Let go of the stress and don’t let your emotions take over; by staying calm during an argument you can see both sides of the story much more clearly. Once you look at it more practically and calmly, a solution will present itself to you. It’s important to understand that all healthy relationships have their fair share of conflict, and you just need to be patient, and communicate openly in order to resolve it.
It’s important to understand that all healthy relationships have their fair share of conflict, and you just need to be patient, and communicate openly in order to resolve it.
Need help learning how to resolve conflicts and communicate effectively in your relationship? Contact Jennie Marie.