The day I said “yes” seems like so long ago now. He said, “Will you marry me?” and I said, “Yes”. It was a moment I’ll never forget. A moment that literally took my breath away. I did not know it was coming, and was stunned that the man I loved most in the world asked me to be his wife. It’s been 8 years now, and I wonder if I even still know that woman who said “yes”. A young 23 year old, I had a full time job and a furry cat named Emmy. As a couple we were drunk with love. Our weekends were spent out with friends, or traveling away for a long weekend. We were young. We were naive. We were in love.
Tonight I got to witness a couple getting engaged. Watching the reaction of the bride-to-be scream with excitement and cry with joy- made a few little butterflies flutter in my stomach, and a single tear fall from my eyes. If I dust off the cobwebs maybe I can remember what it was like to say “yes”.
Life has changed so much since that single moment. Mortgages, dogs, vacations, job changes, and children have all changed my husband and I in ways we never expected. Of course we still love each other, but love now seems so different than the love of saying “yes”. Today’s love is waking up early to make my husband lunch so he doesn’t get too busy and forget to eat at work. Today’s love is staying up late and ironing his shirt for the big important meeting tomorrow. Today’s love is a midnight run to the grocery store to pick up diapers because we accidentally ran out. Today’s love is take out and movie at home.
The girl that said “yes” still exists, she’s just changed. She’s older, wiser, and knows that real love is the work of each day. When I said my vows so many years ago I promised to love for better or for worse. But I had no idea what those words meant. I had no idea of the “for worse” that would come our way. I innocently thought our love would be different. We were in love, and that would be enough to carry us through whatever life would send.
We do have love. It has carried us through. But love takes work. It’s hard. It needs time. Commitment. It takes two people looking at each other at the end of the saying, “I wouldn’t want to go through it with anyone else but you”. It takes patience. Forgiveness. Love now is a verb. It is action. Love is doing not just being. It’s important to go back and remember the girl who said “yes” and the butterflies felt that day. It is the foundation from which our marriage started. Saying “yes” was the beginning of an incredible journey. Not every day is glamorous. Not every day is it easy to love. But remembering the girl who said “yes”, helps me remember why it’s all worth it. All of it.
Have you forgotten about the day you said "yes"? Have you lost the spark for your romance? Hope Therapy Center can help you find ways to ignite the initial spark and strengthen your relationship.
Photo by Sandy Millar