My Grandmother always said “Kiss me Goodnight Rich” – this was her way of telling Grandpa, she wanted to resolve the conflict.

In  a healthy relationship, conflict is bound to arise from time to time,  because two people cannot be expected to agree and work cohesively all  the time.

If dealt with  properly, conflict can provide an opportunity to strengthen the  relationship, but when mismanaged, conflict can deteriorate a  relationship and make it weaker.

It’s  important to understand and learn the skills associated with conflict  resolution, in order to manage it properly and come out on the other end  with a stronger bond than before.

Here’s how you can effectively resolve conflict in your relationships:

Understand the Cause

Conflicts  are based on disagreements concerning values, ideas, principles, and  opinions. At the root of every conflict there is a difference of needs.  Both parties want their needs to satisfied, whether their need is  validation, safety, intimacy, support, or respect. When you understand  this, you can see that the needs of both involved parties must be met in  order to maintain a strong long-term relationship. This will allow you  to look at the situation a second time, this time in an environment of  compassion, love, and mutual support.  This is how a compromise is  reached and a conflict is resolved.

Recognize Your Own Fear

If  you are terrified and threatened by just the thought of a conflict and  try to avoid it all costs, you may be damaging your relationship by  doing so. The truth is, previous conflicts from other relationships that  ended badly may be governing your fear of future conflicts, and so, you  go into it thinking that it will be awful and will end terribly. This  makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you decide in your mind that it  will play out negatively, you will do nothing to steer it in a positive  direction because you are certain that the negative vibes have a right  to be there. When conflict seems more threatening to you than it  actually is, it leads to mismanagement. This feeds your fear, and it  allows you to see conflict as humiliating, demoralizing, and more  terrifying than it was before. You need to go into thinking that it will  okay, and you must train yourself to let go of your fear.

Control Emotion and Stress

Even  something trivial can trigger an emotional response which makes the  conflict larger than it was. Your reactions play a very important part  in how that conflict is resolved. Often, in the midst of a heated  argument, people say hurtful things and prey on each other’s weaknesses  just to prove a point. This does nothing but exacerbate the situation,  and leads to longer conflict time. Avoiding hurtful and disrespectful  arguments almost always leads to faster resolution. Let go of the stress  and don’t let your emotions take over; by staying calm during an  argument you can see both sides of the story much more clearly.  Once  you look at it more practically and calmly, a solution will present  itself to you. It’s  important to understand that all healthy relationships have their fair  share of conflict, and you just need to be patient, and communicate  openly in order to resolve it.

It’s important to understand  that all healthy relationships have their fair share of conflict, and  you just need to be patient, and communicate openly in order to resolve  it. 

Need help learning how to resolve conflicts and communicate effectively in your relationship? Contact Jennie Marie.